In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
