my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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