so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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