honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
