Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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