kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
