The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
