True but thats because hes a fetus.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
