If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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