I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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