I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
