I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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