i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think i peed on brittanys purse
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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