I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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