do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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