So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
