when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
