All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
