Dual....:-)
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
