I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
