I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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