As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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