I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
