Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
