I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
