shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
