i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
