i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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