69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
