Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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