so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
