last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
