Just cropdusted the office
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she smelled like a LAN party
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
