How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
