Sry I called you an 8
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
