So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
