Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
