He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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