1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
