Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
