Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Found the puke drawer
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
