no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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