It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
