you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
