i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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