i just google imaged poop.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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