quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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