Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
