Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
