come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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