I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
