I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
