I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
im on a boat
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